A few months ago, I was blessed with the most precious gift of my life – a tiny bundle of joy whose daily smiles are a testament to his resilience.
His early arrival brought with it a mix of emotions – anticipation, uncertainty, and a profound sense of unity.
Join me in reliving the surprising moments of preterm birth through a story of joy and love.
Keep in mind: this is the father’s perspective and I’ll try to be as objective as possible.
The Pregnancy and Background
First of all, a quick rundown of the pregnancy so far.
Long story short, it went quite smooth up to this point – my wife was active, didn’t get sick even once, there were no complications.
We even traveled from the Netherlands to North Macedonia by car, staying in every country along the way during her 8th month of pregnancy.
In other words: there were no visible signs about what was about to happen.
Setting the Scene
The story starts around one month before the due date. More specifically, during the 35th week of her pregnancy.
We’re in our bed, preparing to go to sleep.
My wife complained about abdominal pain, but we didn’t make much of it. We thought it was expected as we’re entering the latest stages of the pregnancy.
I fell asleep while we were caressing and playing with our unborn son, who was more active than usual.
(05:30 AM) Unexpected Bleeding
At around 05:30 AM, my wife woke me up telling me that she felt an uncomfortable discharge.
Both of us got a bit staggered as this has never happened before. We immediately assumed that her water broke prematurely. But she went to check and we were in for an unpleasant surprise.
She was bleeding. Heavily.
We looked at each other and said “maybe we lost him…”. Although terrified, we stayed calm and collected, and acted accordingly.
I immediately called our doctor and explained what we observed. She instructed us to head to the hospital right away.
(05:40 AM) The Drive to the Hospital
I ran out to prepare the car, got my wife, and we headed off.
My wife was shaking from pain and she was still bleeding. We were both stressed and confused, but at the same time, remained calm and practical.
We weren’t sure what to think and started going through “maybe it’s nothing”, “maybe you’re giving birth”, “maybe that was it”, etc.
My wife decided to call the doctor again and asked her directly:
“Did I lose the baby?”
To which she replied:
“Nooo, you’re giving birth!”
This strengthened our hope!
But we didn’t give into it 100%. We didn’t want to hope for the best and face the disappointment of the worst. We didn’t even conclude this explicitly – we just knew it. Our focus was on the practical aspect – getting to the hospital ASAP.
Luckily there was no traffic this early in the morning and we made it to the hospital with my hand on my wife’s belly. I’m still impressed how collected she remained, especially given her pain and blood loss.
At one moment I thought I felt our son kicking but I couldn’t tell if it’s real or I’m lying to myself.
(05:50 AM) In the Hospital – Signs of Life
A nurse was already expecting us and took my wife to do a CTG test.
First of all, she put the stethoscope on my wife’s stomach to hear the baby’s heart.
We didn’t hear anything for a few seconds (which is normal because she needs to locate him) and this period felt like an eternity. When we finally heard the heartbeat, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.
The baby is alive!
This brought tears to my eyes and lifted my arms in the air in a celebrating manner.
The worst didn’t happen and we were ready to see what’s next.
Father’s Activities: During the CTG
While they were monitoring the baby’s activity, I finally had the time to google the symptoms.
I found out that bleeding can be related to widening of the cervix, which implies that the birth will happen within a few days. However, the symptom for this was a “blood show” (a discrete discharge of blood) rather than what my wife experienced – a continuous blood loss.
The CTG didn’t show signs of contractions, so that confirmed it – the baby didn’t insist to go out.
(06:00 AM) Doctor Check and Diagnosis
A doctor came to check my wife and he concluded that her placenta has detached.
This meant that they need to take out the baby right away.
This was a shock! We didn’t know how to feel, but there was no time for feeling or thinking.
We were immediately sent to the operation hall and the team started preparing my wife for an emergency C-section.
Father’s Activities: Learning About Placental Abruption
I waited in the hallway while my wife and the team were getting ready.
I used this time to read about the condition and found out it’s called placental abruption.
In summary: the placenta is partially or fully detached from the uterus. This causes the continuous bleeding. This means that the nutrients and oxygen flowing to the baby are restricted or completely stopped. Also, the mother loses a lot of blood.
The condition appears in 1% of pregnant women and there’s no specific cause.
I was most terrified when I read that there’s around 10% death rate of either the mother or the baby during labor due to placental abruption.
I felt darkness but didn’t tell anything to my wife. I remained hopeful but understood the chance of losing my son or seeing my wife for the last time. I told her how much I love her multiple times and walked her with the team to the emergency C-section rooms at around 07:30AM.
(07:30 AM) The Anticipation Starts
The waiting started.
I sat and expected news at any moment. At times I was trying to see if I can spot some movement or reactions from the operation rooms that can give me an indication of how things are going. I couldn’t stop thinking and praying for everything to end up well. I experienced strong emotions and confusion.
At one point, the doctor that assessed her placental abruption passed by and I asked him whether this is a partial abruption and how worried I should be. It was a great sense of relief when he told me that we’re here on time and that I shouldn’t fear the worst.
That’s all I needed to hear!
Now, it was just a matter of time…
(07:50 AM) The Official Time of Birth
The little one arrived! ❤️
I can’t explain the emotions during the birth because I didn’t witness it first hand. Follow my wife on Instagram if you’re interested in her perspective.
I just want to say that the team was professional, highly prepared, and they took care of my family in a swift and caring manner.
I’m extremely grateful for their efforts and treatment.
I’m also infinitely grateful for our decision to give birth in a private hospital. It was totally worth it – the attentiveness and dedication were truly on another level.
(08:00 AM) Meeting My Son
At exactly 08:00 o’clock, the doors opened. It was the pediatrician pushing a cart.
I still wasn’t sure what I’ll hear nor what I’ll see. So before reacting at all, I had one last question:
“Is everything okay?”
Another moment of eternity for me until I heard the most anticipated “yes” in my life. That’s all I needed to know!
I stood up and I saw the most beautiful creature in this world!
The emotions were turbulent and I finally felt relieved and happy! I couldn’t believe what just happened!
We walked together to the NICU room and we separated there.
Summary of the Stats
In summary:
- The baby was born one month before the due date
- His weight was 2050g (4.52lbs), which is in the 8th percentile for his gestational age (SGA)
- His length was 47cm (18.5 inches)
- The Apgar score was 8
Overall, he looked healthy, well developed, and all his functions were as expected. He was just lighter than his peers.
The Aftermath
I gathered my thoughts and emotions…
Two hours ago we thought our son died after 8 months of bonding… And now, there he is – alive and well in front of us, ready to take on the world!
I saw him three more times throughout the day:
- The first encounter: he didn’t move much, had his gaze fixed on the ceiling
- The second encounter: he was with his eyes closed, yawning, and his breathing was more obvious
- The third encounter: he was awake, moved his arms, and was putting fingers in his mouth
In the meantime, he peed and pooped for the first time. He also started sucking a pacifier, so his reflexes were fine.
Later in the day, I visited my wife.
We talked and talked…
She told me about her Caesarean section – due to the high-risk situation, they couldn’t wait for the anesthesia to take full effect. It was a life-or-death situation and they started ASAP. My wife is a hero and so is my son – two warriors that decided they’ll fight and survive!
We pointed out how happy we are that all of us are alive.
My wife started standing from the second day. She even walked me out of her room after my visits.
On the third day, against all expectations, they started with breastfeeding.
Our son spent 5 days in a NICU overall and they stayed 2 more days in the hospital before they were released.
What’s Next?
I’ll write more post about the development of our son throughout his infancy.
If you’re going through or anticipating something similar, I’ll just tell you that preterm/SGA babies catch up quite fast. Don’t worry about it.
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Author
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D. Petkovski
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Husband & Father
Software Engineer StrengthCentric
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